We continue our publication of Archbishop Victorin’s letters by presenting those that contain his first impressions on American soil.
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December 22, 1956
Your Eminence,
We find ourselves again in the days proclaiming the good tidings of the Lord’s Nativity and the New Year. And I’m thinking about Bethlehem and Jerusalem. I’m also thinking about Your Eminence and I ask myself, in which year will I have the joy of celebrating these days together with Your Eminence. Harboring these hopes for the year 1957, I pray that our Good God preserve you healthy for many years and that you celebrate these holy days with peace, joy, and the gladness of all your good thoughts being fulfilled.
You ask me about church matters. I am perennially undecided – with my thoughts toward Jerusalem. That’s why I didn’t have the courage to engage myself in any ministry here. I’ll wait till after the holidays.
With the church administrations of the Romanians, I have connections with none of the factions. I don’t want to interfere with anyone, in any way, in their “eparchies”.
That’s why even here, I live just as isolated from everyone as if I were in the solitude of the Jordan river valley.
With the same filial sentiments,
Archim. Victorin
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February 4, 1957
Detroit
Your Eminence,
The things going on in Jerusalem make me ponder, too. These days, I again visited Montreal and passed through NY too. And those from the Greek Archdiocese in NY are also of the opinion that I remain here, especially because until now I haven’t done anything for the interests of our Jerusalem mission, either.
In a previous letter, you ask why I don’t write you any news from here. Because I see in what you write me that Your Eminence knows perfectly well both the Romanians’ ecclesial situation and the people themselves, and I don’t have anything to add. Besides, regarding the Romanian “bishops” here, even the bishops from the Greek Archdiocese in NY told me that “they’re all good” and I should only speak well of them; but as long as they don’t reconcile, that I should avoid them.
As far as I’m personally concerned, Your Eminence knows very well that I have no ambitions, neither for church dignities, nor for titles, nor even for an improved financial situation. So, I have neither nothing to lose, nor anything to gain in this life. That’s why I’m so indifferent as to what people might say about me, or what reputation I have in France. It’s well known that on the path I’ve chosen to follow Christ, I need to be slandered, condemned by men, and possibly be asked to endure the most grievous sufferings; and what else would I prefer to this? To suffer all these justly or unjustly? So, Your Eminence can understand how peaceful my soul is when my conscience is clear, because they’re all unjust accusations. For me, it’s enough that God knows all the steps of my life and that He envelops me with His mercy and kindness…
With the same filial sentiments,
Archim. Victorin
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May 14, 1957
Hamilton, Canada
Your Eminence,
Maybe you wrote to me in the meanwhile, but I’ve been away from Detroit for some time. Currently, I am in Canada. For Pascha, I was in western Canada (near Regina), and now I am in Hamilton. Priest Iuga left to see his parents back in the home country and his parishioners, the majority being Bucovinians, insisted that I serve the Divine Liturgy at their church here. My thought, however, is to travel to Detroit these days, too. In any case, I don’t receive other letters except from Jerusalem and from Your Eminence.
Here, the situation is the same, each of the church groups is seeking to strengthen their own positions in any way possible. Although I don’t bother them with anything, I nonetheless see that they collaborate to cause me various difficulties…
Your Eminence’s truly, with the same filial love,
Archim. Victorin
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February 4, 1958
Your Eminence,
A long time has passed since I find myself far away from Neamț Monastery, but still, my memories of my first counsels in the monastic life have remained. Among others, if it seems to me sometimes that I do good, I should not do it without a blessing.
Referring to Your Eminence’s letter from December 23, 1957, that was not the reason for my tardiness, but truly there were some misfortunes that hold me up even here.
If it is Good God’s will to meet you, you will find out everything. To some of our brethren here, maybe it seems that I have tarried too long in these parts – despite that I disturb no one with absolutely anything.
Our Good God is great and forbearing in everything, and if He allows us to pass sometimes through various trials, it is only so that the people of this world can become more familiar with one another.
Regarding my monthly offering, as you see, sometimes I am forced to delay it, but I still ask You to retain my blessing to keep this promise as long as I will be here.
Pray for me, too. And if my delays sometimes unsettle you, forgive me. Life is much easier in the solitude of the desert than in the solitude amid the people.
With the same filial sentiments,
Archim. Victorin
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February 8, 1958
Your Eminence,
The only consolation my soul still has are Your Eminence’s letters, which I receive from time to time, and the hope that the Good God will help me to meet you sometime in life.
From Jerusalem, they wrote that our spiritual father, Sava the Archimandrite, was called to the Lord on the first day of this year.
And the news about the state of Your Eminence’s health worries me more and more, especially as these winter months demand more attention and care. And when I think that Your Eminence is also alone there.
From Jerusalem, I came only with the thought that, by improving our financial situation there, it would also be easier for Your Eminence wherever you prefer to stay. But time passes continually and I see that I accomplish nothing.
I ask that you receive the little [financial help] with the assurance that it’s my soul’s only consolation, giving me an answer in my heart – why did I abandon Jerusalem?… But if sometime I delay, or don’t send anything, it means that I also don’t have anything.
I sent you via check because it’s not allowed to send cash in envelopes. Checks can be cashed in any country just as easily as paper currency.
No one here has found out that I am sending you anything. And they couldn’t even imagine such a thing. If they are surprised, it’s only because after so many obstacles and in the loneliness in which I live, how am I still surviving here. God is merciful and sustains us all.
Pray also for me and forgive me.
With the same filial sentiments,
Archim. Victorin
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