{"id":558,"date":"2020-11-30T18:09:54","date_gmt":"2020-11-30T18:09:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sfdumitru.org\/wordpress\/?p=558"},"modified":"2024-03-11T17:56:59","modified_gmt":"2024-03-11T17:56:59","slug":"youth-voice-xi-2020","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sfdumitru.org\/ro\/2020\/11\/youth-voice-xi-2020\/","title":{"rendered":"Mi-am g\u0103sit pantofii..."},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"\"<\/p>

Iar dup\u0103 ce alergi tot p\u0103m\u00e2ntul \u00een pi\u00adcioarele goale, dupa ce te \u00een\u021bepi \u0219i te doare, dupa ce \u021bi se ofer\u0103 milioane de perechi de pantofi fal\u0219i, care doar te-ar \u00eempiedica, ajungi \u00een cele din urm\u0103 la cei adev\u0103ra\u021bi, la pantofii t\u0103i. Apoi e\u0219ti pre\u00adg\u0103tit, nu \u0219tii cum \u0219i nici c\u00e2nd s-a sf\u00e2r\u0219it munca de c\u0103utare, dar te sim\u021bi preg\u0103tit s\u0103 opre\u0219ti aceast\u0103 alergare inutil\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 \u00eencepi drumul cel real.<\/p>

Mult timp al zilelor mele l-am risi\u00adpit \u00eencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103 fiu altfel dec\u00e2t a\u0219a cum sunt. Fiind \u00eenconjurat\u0103 de nenum\u0103rate \u201emodele\u201d puternice prin acea perfec\u021biu\u00adne aparent\u0103 a zilelor noastre, am crezut c\u0103 a\u0219a trebuie s\u0103 fiu. Am asociat at\u00e2t de gre\u0219it sensibilitatea, bl\u00e2nde\u021bea, c\u0103ldura uman\u0103 cu sl\u0103biciunea. Vedeam atitudi\u00adnea lini\u0219tit\u0103, delicat\u0103 ca fiind una \u0219tears\u0103, neimportant\u0103. C\u0103derile erau interzise, destinate mereu celorlal\u021bi \u0219i nu mie. Tre\u00adbuia s\u0103 fiu mereu v\u0103zut\u0103, altfel, nu exis\u00adtam. \u0218i sigur, nu existam, cel pu\u021bin nu \u00een varianta care cerea mereu doar locul din centrul aten\u021biei. Ani de lupt\u0103, ore \u00eentregi \u00een care nu f\u0103ceam dec\u00e2t s\u0103 m\u0103 conving c\u0103 sunt altfel dec\u00e2t a\u0219a cum sunt. Mult chin interior c\u00e2nd nu reu\u0219eam s\u0103 fiu a\u0219a cum \u201etrebuie\u201d. \u00cens\u0103 adev\u0103rata-mi fire ie\u00ad\u0219ea adesea la suprafa\u021b\u0103, a\u0219a cum lumina iese chiar \u0219i pe sub u\u0219\u0103, atunci c\u00e2nd o \u00eenchizi. Dincolo de atitudinea indife\u00adrent\u0103, indestructibil\u0103, mai mereu la bra\u021b cu gluma, m\u0103 suprindeam c\u00e2teodat\u0103, vibr\u00e2nd \u00een fa\u021ba unor versuri, pl\u00e2ng\u00e2nd durerea unui b\u0103tr\u00e2n sau tremur\u00e2nd de fric\u0103 \u00een fa\u021ba unor obstacole. Firesc, dup\u0103 multe m\u0103\u0219ti \u00eencercate, a venit \u0219i \u00eent\u00e2lni\u00adrea cu mine. C\u0103ci devenise obositor s\u0103 m\u0103 \u201emachiez\u201d \u00een fiecare zi. Cu o \u201emine\u201d pe care nu o prea cuno\u0219team, c\u0103ci fuse\u00adsem at\u00e2ta vreme \u00een c\u0103utarea alteia...<\/p>

Prima oglind\u0103 clar\u0103 a fost nelini\u0219\u00adtea permanent\u0103, stare de nemul\u021bumire pe care o aveam, o constr\u00e2ngere de a spune sau a face totdeauna lucrurile \u00een\u00adtr-un anumit fel, apoi, iubirea lui Dum\u00adnezeu descoperit\u0103 prin cuvintele duhov\u00adnicului meu, care mi-a vorbit mereu din interiorul sufletului meu c\u0103tre urechi. Sufla praful de pe por\u021biuni \u00eentregi de suflet, acoperite cu acest\u0103 lupt\u0103 fals\u0103. \u00cemi amintesc \u0219i acum prima spoveda\u00adnie, repet \u00een g\u00e2nd vobele pe care mi le-a spus, sunau at\u00e2t de diferit fa\u021b\u0103 de felul \u00een care m\u0103 pl\u0103smuisem... Ulterior, u\u0219or, u\u0219or, lupta mea s-a transformat... Voiam s\u0103 \u00eemi g\u0103sesc chipul, sufletul... \u0219i slav\u0103 Domnului, s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat. Dup\u0103 nenu\u00adm\u0103rate \u00eenc\u0103l\u021b\u0103ri, am g\u0103sit perechea po\u00adtrivit\u0103 pentru mine. Masca \u00eembibat\u0103 cu gre\u0219eli a cr\u0103pat, apoi a disp\u0103rut.<\/p>

Acum, purt\u00e2nd lupta cea bun\u0103, iat\u0103 mi-am gasit pantofii, erau la poarta su\u00adfletului meu, \u00een \u021bara inimii mele. Sunt simpli \u0219i cura\u021bi, mult prea cura\u021bi, fiind\u00adc\u0103 nu i-am purtat ani de zile. Dar acum m\u0103 simt ceva mai pregatit\u0103, m-am \u00een\u00adc\u0103l\u021bat cu cei potrivi\u021bi. Am dat la o parte bocancii greoi \u00een care m\u0103 \u00eempotmoleam. Acum e bine, \u00een ace\u0219tia e mult\u0103 prim\u0103\u00advar\u0103. \u0218i nu alearg\u0103, ci plutesc, iar c\u00e2nd plou\u0103, se ud\u0103, dar nu se stric\u0103 \u0219i nici nu m\u0103 p\u0103r\u0103sesc. C\u0103ci sunt curajo\u0219i, lor doar li s-a spus c\u0103 nu sunt, \u0219tiu \u00eens\u0103 c\u0103 nu e a\u0219a, deoarece indiferent de vreme, au continuat.<\/p>

\u00cen pantofii mei e soare, poe\u00adzie \u0219i lupt\u0103. O lupt\u0103 cald\u0103 acum. Ei nu sunt prea departe de p\u0103m\u00e2nt, dar sigur nici lipi\u021bi de el. Sunt fideli. De\u0219i purt\u0103\u00adtori de primavar\u0103, c\u00e2nd venea iarna, \u00een loc s\u0103-i \u00eenc\u0103lzesc la piept, \u00eei luam \u0219i \u00eei azv\u00e2rleam \u00een frig, din ur\u0103 \u0219i disperare, pentru c\u0103 mai alunecau uneori pe z\u0103pa\u00add\u0103. Eu am uitat \u0219i am uitat constant de sufletul meu drag, l-am r\u0103nit ne\u00eencetat. Noroc cu Bunul Dumnezeu care m-a a\u0219\u00adteptat, m-a m\u00e2ng\u00e2iat \u0219i care \u00eenc\u0103 o face... Duios \u0219i cald, pe cre\u0219tet de suflet.<\/p>

Pantofii mei sunt imperfec\u021bi, pu\u021bin toci\u021bi \u00een v\u00e2rf de a\u0219teptare, pu\u021bin timizi din auzite, dar bl\u00e2nzi \u0219i curajo\u0219i, doar fie var\u0103, fie toamn\u0103, ei plutesc. Plutesc ne\u00eencetat, cu st\u00e2ng\u0103cie, dar str\u0103lucesc prin str\u0103duin\u021b\u0103. Iar c\u00e2nd lupta e \u00een toi, mai scutur\u0103 din ei un pic de prim\u0103var\u0103 \u0219i iese soarele.<\/p>

Eu nu mai vreau s\u0103-mi dau pan\u00adtofii jos! Ci \u00eemi doresc s\u0103 merg cu ei la lupt\u0103, c\u0103ci m-am s\u0103turat de bietele-mi picioare goale, de bocanci \u0219i pietre. Eu am pantofii mei cu prim\u0103vara \u0219i poeme, plini de c\u0103deri, dar cu n\u0103dejdea reu\u0219itei! Doamne ajut\u0103!<\/p>

Mihaela Dumitru<\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

And after running all over barefoot, getting stung and hurt, after being offered millions of pairs of fake shoes, which only hinder you, you finally get to the real ones\u2014your shoes. Then you are ready, the search ended unbeknownst to you, but you feel it is time to stop this useless run and set out […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[29],"class_list":["post-558","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-xi-2020","tag-youth-voice","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sfdumitru.org\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/558","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sfdumitru.org\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sfdumitru.org\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sfdumitru.org\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sfdumitru.org\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=558"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/sfdumitru.org\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/558\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1201,"href":"https:\/\/sfdumitru.org\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/558\/revisions\/1201"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sfdumitru.org\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=558"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sfdumitru.org\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=558"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sfdumitru.org\/ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=558"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}